Last Call at the 7-Eleven Ebook

Fine Dining at 2 A.M., The Search for Spandex People, and Other Reasons to Go On Living

Publication: Bancroft Press
 
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Description

The country might be going to hell in a hand-basket, but don’t close the garage doors and sit there with the engine running until you read this collection of sardonic, off-the-wall pieces on modern life by one of America’s best humorists. Described as “another Dave Barry, only with a lot less going for him,” Baltimore Sun columnist Kevin Cowherd sizzles as he tackles such loopy subjects as:- Larry King’s interview with God (“El Paso, Texas, you’re on the air with the Almighty . . .” – Fine dining at a 7-Eleven at 2 a.m. (“Moving briskly past the Test-Your-Blood-Pressure machine and the Hormel chili section, we arrive at the rack of Slim Jims.”)- $20 million lottery winners who insist on keeping their jobs (“Oh yeah, I’ll be back at Mr. Tire first thing in the morning.”) – The joys of backyard wiffleball (“Wiffleball is for anyone willing to shrug off a full speed collision with a tool shed and six months of subsequent blackouts just to snare a grounder up the middle.”) – Thanksgiving dinner with Howard Stern (“Yo, sweetie, pass the cranberry sauce. What are you, stupid? Only a friggin’ moron would pass the mashed potatoes when I asked for the cranberry sauce.”) – Modest people looking for love in the personals (“5-foot-9 guy with spare tire, bags under his eyes, not much of a chin, looks like your grocer, seeks woman.”).

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Last Call at the 7-Eleven